Trac Davies Artist - Musing's from the Depths.

Thursday, 4 February 2016

Rhiannon - Final Development of the Horse's Tale

Rhiannon, The Tale of a Goddess & how it relates to mere mortals such as ourselves.

My first blog concerned an early development of my painting called Rhiannon. Rhiannon is a Celtic Horse Goddess, she is also known as Epona. There are many myths that surround the Goddess Rhiannon, I do not want to delve too deeply into these as they are very well documented elsewhere & there is much information about her, which I have included but I wanted to outline some of the information before I portray her & blog about my interpretation of her.
Many that follow the Goddess know of Rhiannon as the Queen of Fairies, a Triple Goddess, a spring-time Goddess, a Moon Goddess, a Dream Goddess but she is also a Life & Death Goddess so encompasses personal transformation as the full story of Rhiannon & Pwyll, King of the new tribes of Dyved depicts.

It was written that when Pwyll, Lord of the Summerland was out hunting one day, he saw a beautiful golden-haired maiden on a magnificent white mare & wished to know her better. So he gave chase upon his own steed but however fast he chased her, he could not catch her & his horse was tiring so in desperation he cried out to her to stop & because he asked her she did, chastising him over the state of his horse! Here she is the elusive Fairy Goddess, who shows a deep connection with the Otherworld of Fairy but also depicts the maiden in the part of the triple. They fall in love as Pwyll courts her but has to prove his worth to her by following her into the Otherworld of Fairy. Here he has to thwart other suitors and aspects of the Otherworld. When he does this Rhiannon must leave the world of Fairy so they can marry. This they do, they rule together & later have a son. One day, Rhiannon & her ladies fall into a deep, enchanted sleep & the boy is stolen away. When the ladies awake they see he has vanished and not wanting to take responsibility, fearing only for their reputations, smear puppy blood on Rhiannon & scatter the bones of that animal around her. Thus, Pwyll believes it was she that murdered their offspring and so forces her to live to like a mare, and to stand on a block outside the castle for 7 years. She was to take guests on her back after telling them what she had done, but few would ride her due to her dignified beauty. After 2 years she is reunited with her son & she was accepted as queen once again. There are many other sides to this tale but this is the aspect I want to concentrate on.

There is so much more to this story, for example Pwyll has to enter the Otherworld & Rhiannon helps him because she loves him as he does her but she knows that entering this realm is no task for the mere mortal and gives him the tools he needs to prove himself as a hero. This he does & even though he has her assistance he IS a hero. However, despite this Pwyll is is also still a human and this much is proved when he does not believe that the woman he loves, the mother of their son & a Goddess has NOT murdered their son.

Rhiannon - Trac Davies©

It always strikes me that in these tales, just as in real life there is always someone willing to make someone else a scapegoat for their mistakes. When I state this, it is obvious that it isn't just these women that have the responsibility for Pwyll & Rhiannon's son but Rhiannon herself. However, because of circumstances beyond anybody's control, they all fall into this deep, enchanted sleep just before the boy is taken, so they are all equally responsible for his welfare. Yet these women wake first, instead of waking their lady and being dignified and honest in their response towards a tragedy that is really beyond anyone's control & sharing this responsibility, they lay the blame entirely on Rhiannon. Men are sometimes very brave but they can also be very stupid, just as women can be too and instead of believing the evidence of his own heart, he turns against the woman that he loves and humiliates her.

In life, as in these tales of mythical allegory, there is always at least one time in our life that we have something that happens like this. A situation occurs; it might well be one that is caused by a sum of all the people involved, it might be someone's doing but which they refuse to take the responsibility for, it might be a deep emotion that overtakes the person that is scapegoating others or it might be a genuine mistake, it could be anything. In these situations a group of people will end up pointing the finger at someone who, for some reason can't fully defend themselves or prove that they are not totally responsible for that situation. We all go through it but when we do, the best thing we can do is draw lessons from Rhiannon's humiliation.

Rhiannon is in the form of a white mare with a golden mane & tail runs under a full moon, this underlies the connection she has with the moon. In the tarot the moon underlines the secretive and shows a scene that is in black & white but with varying grey shadows. It is the grey areas which makes situations like these so hard to bear because a person that has been falsely accused of something doesn't really get to know the full story & they do not understand in total how this has come about. However, I have not made my landscape grey, just confusing like under the moon it can be. I have placed the full moon in a stormy sky underlining the fact that when these situations occur they really do cause problems for the accused and cause a stormy atmosphere whenever this set of people are involved, yet the sky around the moon itself is clearer, these times do not last forever and stormy skies do clear.

Rhiannon is in the form of a white mare because here she has been cast out by the ones she loves, forced to be as a horse & is vocally unable to defend herself or explain the situation that has happened. As a horse she is mute & especially to the human ear for people really cannot understand what a horse is truly trying to say. People do not listen when they feel they know the truth, they rarely listen to the lone voice & when accused, one might as well be a horse!

A horse is a delicate animal whilst being paradoxically very strong, often those that have been falsely accused have to be very strong to withstand the lies and slander but at the same times this is happening feel pretty vulnerable and very fragile.

The steam pours off Rhiannon because dealing with false accusations is hard work, it makes you inwardly sweat each time you are faced with an aspect of the situation which you know that you have not fully caused but are being accused of, and in addition, you don't really know the full story of what has occurred, just that somehow it is your fault.

She is running through a wilderness, again depicting that you really are out there on your own with the elements when you have been accused of something that you didn't do & people that you have always thought close believe it. Around her hooves is a tangled mess & she herself is tied up with it. These are the accusations and sometimes downright lies that has been placed at her feet, they try and trip her up as she blunders through her own personal landscape but she keeps her footing & does not falter.

Her body is that of a horse from celtic times but it is white and glows in the landscape, the truth will eventually shine out as she so clearly does, running through this massive tangled undergrowth, clearing her own way whilst still being part of it.

Her front legs & hooves are misty & appear to be fading into the background. When false accusations are laid at your door people stop seeing you. In general they only see the mess that has been caused, you become less in other people's eyes. As she runs part of her is misty, but she manages to retain both balance and composure, she does not vanish & become the mess herself.

One of her back legs is of a celtic design, underlying the celtic story of Rhiannon but the celtic design enters through her hooves & are part of the mess or accusations that she is running through. This only serves to strengthen who she is rather than weaken her, for it might appear as a brand but we make the foundations of our lives from the rocks that have been hurled at us & once we have our footing, we can do this successfully.

The undergrowth is strange, it appears to be there but not there, it is patchy. Accusations often are because they are often based on a past landscape. This depicts that sometimes a broken little-known past can have great consequences on a life that is of the now and sometimes can impact on the future.

Her eyes are a nebula & they are looking right at you. She has no fear of her accusers, she is dignified and will face you head on, she does not look where she is going, she does not look where she has been. She looks at YOU, her accuser & the truth of her being, her quiet dignity, her attempt to keep going when all else is stacked against her, shows that not only truth will out, she WILL be transformed for the better by this situation & she has not been undignified by the accusations - you the accuser have.

Further reading:

The Mabinogion. - Lady Charlotte Guest. For further explanation see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mabinogion
The Ancient British Goddess. - Kathy Jones. This is an excellent book to introduce to the more serious reader many different aspects of the Goddess in Britain. There is an extensive chapter on Rhiannon, here we can learn about so many if not all of her forms. For more information; http://www.kathyjones.co.uk/the-ancient-british-goddess-2/

The White Goddess. - Robert Graves; for an overal explanation of this book see; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_White_Goddess
http://feminismandreligion.com/2013/03/13/rhiannon-goddess-of-birds-and-horses/
http://www.mabinogion.info/rhiannon.htm

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Trac Davies - Artist ©

Thursday, 12 November 2015

The Black Dog Series - Despair

The Black Dog - Despair.

The subject and reality of depression is not an easy one, I stated this in my first blog regarding the Black Dog but I feel, deep within my heart and soul that this state of affairs need to be redressed & the reality of depression should be to be bought out into the open, discussed and accepted as a part of life rather than making it all taboo.

Right now I am going to go through the stages that most people experience at one time or another. These may or may not be in the specific order that I am painting them and truth to be told, each experience of walking the Black Dog is unique to the circumstances surrounding it and different stages may come at different times.

The Black Dog - Despair

The next stage that I have painted is called Despair. I some ways this is self-explanatory because when someone really starts to suffer from depression this is how they might feel. Yet someone also might feel very confused & hurt because generally at the time the root of the problem is unknown. At this stage, it is hard to look into the cause and effect of the condition because the pain becomes very intense & all someone wants to do is either cry, or scream or both.

The Black Dog in this painting is bigger than in the first painting, this is because the illness is starting to become more dominant & sometimes more difficult to control. The Black Dog has bitten this person but the viewer will see that although the bite itself is not deep, it is firm enough to have a strong hold on this woman. This is the first bite that is supposed to alert us that something is wrong and needs addressing. Yet the Black Dog is not viscous, it is quite calmly sitting there, sharp teeth biting into the dress of fire, some of which is trying to escape, & it appears to wait. It is waiting for the person involved in this painting to acknowledge that something is wrong, but the woman can feel nothing but despair & as the fire hanging from the Dog's mouth indicates, is already trying to escape the Black Dog's hold.

The fiery dress this time leads upwards to a woman caught in a whirlwind. This is painted in black and white because it consists of her own hair & in the centre at the top, her face is caught, spinning around & around, it is screaming and crying in pain.

Because the distressed woman's eyes are shut, metaphorically as well as in reality, she is missing things that surround her. The skies may be still grey but the wild-woman of her own soul is flying with her, trying to draw attention to the fact that there is life outside of this pain she feels. The wild-woman is also drawing attention that from this whirlwind created by such pain, that a tree has been birthed with a phoenix that flies underneath it. It will be some-time before the woman acknowledges that the Black Dog brings freedom if it is treated right. I do not mean medically treated, Black Dogs are our constant companions in life, they draw attention that something is wrong but once faced something beautiful is birthed. The beauty of this woman's truth is birthing but it is at an early stage & as yet she does not see it for what it is. Change is never easy, self-change is harder because as this woman demonstrates, she really does not know what needs changing as yet but as her tree with its strong roots and branches & her flying phoenix shows she is on the way to becoming.

There is one thing I wanted to add to this, when I was painting Despair, my 9-year-old-daughter took one of my brush cleaning rags & got green glitter over it without my knowledge. Some of this glitter transferred to the Black Dog itself & I have left it there because, as it was pointed out to me, this is a lovely message not to forget that little bit of sparkle that is there in your own life (e.g. family and friends); & that the Black Dog itself sometimes can bring these glimmers of hope that more sparkly times will return again.

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Friday, 6 November 2015

The Black Dog - Recognition.

An individual approach to the battle with depression.

Life isn't always easy, even the most upbeat and positive person can have an off-day but when this continues, when the days get greyer & finally turn into the blackest of hells, that is when the question of depression comes up.

Depression is a touchy subject, for so many years it was taboo & never discussed because nobody likes to think that they are struggling with it. After all, are we not all human? Are we not all strong? Everyone else can cope so why not me? It is never a question of inner strength because most often, the most positive of people that have had to be strong for a very long time suffer from depression at some stage in their lives.

If we were all honest, we would all accept that some time in our life we have been bitten by the black dog, I feel we all have suffered from it from a greater or lesser degree. As it is such a difficult subject, I have decided to paint a series and I am going to introduce the series via this blog so these will continue as there might be 7 paintings or more. I do not want judgements on this series, this is not a generalised version of what occurs with depression. Everybody's journey is different, some take longer to go through the processes and usually, we all miss what it is trying to tell us. This is because when depression starts, it could be that we have missed something hidden in our psyche. Even the most clued-up people miss things & if they are not dealt with, these can come back and bite us hard.

The name the Black Dog has been attributed to Winston Churchill1 but it is a much older expression & was first used by Horace, a Roman Satirist & Poet in 65 - 68 BC.2. The Black Dog has been used in literature and mythology in various times throughout history to depict depressive illnesses & has been our constant companion throughout the years2. Sometimes it is caused by an event or events in life that can tear a person apart but genetics and other medical factors do need to be considered. Causes of depression, such as stress or trauma have a debilitating effect on any one individual3. However, it has been underlined that chemical imbalance alone cannot be just the cause of depression, it is a multiple-faceted disease which cannot be contributed to chemicals in the brain alone4. The complexity of the disease is such that brain and nervous system, along with genetics, medical conditions and outside factors have to be assessed & each individual responds to treatment different because of all of the above factors4. I have included the links here because I will now be leaving the art of psychotherapy and science & going onto the first painting.

The Black Dog - Recognition

Sometimes art speaks for itself, sometimes it is not apparent. This painting does have clear meaning but I feel the need to describe it because it may not be so obvious to all. The Black dog here is not like a real dog, it is a shadow-form but has real depth. However, it does not show the attributes of a true dog. This dog is MY Black Dog, everyone's Dog is different but this one is mine.

People that experience depression experience it differently, but this is my exprience. Here the Black Dog is quite small but it is also quiet, it does not attack, it just sits opposite a woman that is attired in a dress of fire. Her dress is indicative of how she feels, uncomfortable & in pain, as if she is wearing her nervous system on the outside of her body so everything hurts her and sets her alight from the inside-out and the outside-in. The fire has also reached the floor & flames encircle her so therefore she feels there is no escape.

Her black and white hair is indicative that at this present time her head is feeling the stark contrast between of her reflection of how she feels she ought to be & how how she feels she is. She is not feeling the shades of grey or colour that usually make up her world. She also feels stark contrasts between her and other people that she admires & puts herself in the black whereas others are perfect and all pristine white. I have written "feels" rather than "sees" because one branch of thinking believe that hair is like an antenna on many species, including humans5 & as this lady has her head in her hands, she is not really seeing anything, she is feeling it.

Her head is in her hands for she has just seen and recognised the Black Dog, she has also shut her eyes. When we first become depressed, this is what most of us do, we refuse to acknowledge it, thus shutting our eyes and hiding our face from the truth. Yet, the Black Dog is HERSELF, for its tongue is attached to her & makes her fiery dress & thus they are connected. The Black Dog's eyes are also fiery, they contain a painful truth that, with courage must be faced or the pain will become unbearable but for now, the woman refuses to look upon HERSELF for that is what the Black Dog is, part of you.

The Black Dog is an inner reflection to point out that something is wrong and it is there to help you sort it out too, this is why I have painted The Crone pouring from the mouth of the Dog. Again, this can be likened to our inner Baba Yaga, the aged-crone & eternal inner Wild Woman, who's lessons are harsh but once learnt, you never have to go through them in such depth again. Here she is facing the woman who willfully hides and it will only be once the woman looks into her inner Crones heart that she will be free - that said, there will always be a scar but it will no longer fester and poison the mind and life of any one individual.

The grey clouds that surround this individual are indicative of how she feels, grey, lifeless and heavy & people that are in her circle are indistinct as everything to her is foggy. The waves crashing over her are only gentle because at this time she is only JUST beginning to recognise the Black Dog for what it is & that this is not a case of the ordinary blues so at present, the waves of emotion are small but there is a tired face in those waves and this depicts how we feel when we battle with ourselves, tired.

1. http://www.bipolar-lives.com/winston-churchill-and-manic-depression.html

2. http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/docs/Michael.pdf

3. http://www.allaboutdepression.com/cau_04.html

4. http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/what-causes-depression

5. https://www.quantumbalancing.com/spiritualhair.htm

My work can also be viewed at: