The Black Dog Series - Despair

The Black Dog - Despair.

The subject and reality of depression is not an easy one, I  stated this in my first blog regarding the Black Dog but I feel, deep within my heart and soul that this state of affairs need to be redressed & the reality of depression should be to be bought out into the open, discussed and accepted as a part of life rather than making it all taboo. 

Right now I am going to go through the stages that most people experience at one time or another.  These may or may not be in the specific order that I am painting them and truth to be told, each experience of walking the Black Dog is unique to the circumstances surrounding it and different stages may come at different times.

The Black Dog - Despair

The next stage that I have painted is called Despair. I some ways this is self-explanatory because when someone really starts to suffer from depression this is how they might feel. Yet someone also might feel very confused & hurt because generally at the time the root of the problem is unknown.  At this stage, it is hard to look into the cause and effect of the condition because the pain becomes very intense & all someone wants to do is either cry, or scream or both.  

The Black Dog in this painting is bigger than in the first painting, this is because the illness is starting to become more dominant & sometimes more difficult to control.  The Black Dog has bitten this person but the viewer will see that although the bite itself is not deep, it is firm enough to have a strong hold on this woman.  This is the first bite that is supposed to alert us that something is wrong and needs addressing.  Yet the Black Dog is not viscous, it is quite calmly sitting there, sharp teeth biting into the dress of fire, some of which is trying to escape, & it appears to wait.  It is waiting for the person involved in this painting to acknowledge that something is wrong, but the woman can feel nothing but despair & as the fire hanging from the Dog's mouth indicates, is already trying to escape the Black Dog's hold.

The fiery dress this time leads upwards to a woman caught in a whirlwind.  This is painted in black and white because it consists of her own hair & in the centre at the top, her face is caught, spinning around & around, it is screaming and crying in pain.  

Because the distressed woman's eyes are shut, metaphorically as well as in reality, she is missing things that surround her.  The skies may be still grey but the wild-woman of her own soul is flying with her, trying to draw attention to the fact that there is life outside of this pain she feels.  The wild-woman is also drawing attention that from this whirlwind created by such pain, that a tree has been birthed with a phoenix that flies underneath it.  It will be some-time before the woman acknowledges that the Black Dog brings freedom if it is treated right.  I do not mean medically treated, Black Dogs are our constant companions in life, they draw attention that something is wrong but once faced something beautiful is birthed.  The beauty of this woman's truth is birthing but it is at an early stage & as yet she does not see it for what it is.  Change is never easy, self-change is harder because as this woman demonstrates, she really does not know what needs changing as yet but as her tree with its strong roots and branches & her flying phoenix shows she is on the way to becoming.

There is one thing I wanted to add to this, when I was painting Despair, my 9-year-old-daughter took one of my brush cleaning rags & got green glitter over it without my knowledge.  Some of this glitter transferred to the Black Dog itself & I have left it there because, as it was pointed out to me, this is a lovely message not to forget that little bit of sparkle that is there in your own life (e.g. family and friends); & that the Black Dog itself sometimes can bring these glimmers of hope that more sparkly times will return again.

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Trac Davies - Artist ©