The Black Dog - Metabolic & Abstract Dreaming

Why depression can lead to more positive things & how to access the dreaming.

The result of this painting was a total surprise, it came out of the blue and was quite unexpected.  I have already painted two other black dogs and nearly finished a third one but it wasn't until I finished this painting that I realised what it was.  

I think I have already said that often, when I paint, I let the energy move through me and do not think about what I am creating too much.  I also listen to a lot of music so this can sometimes have an affect on what I am painting at the time, I paint as I listen and it inspires me greatly.   

This painting is about the state of our sleep when we have depression and how this can affect our dreams and our lives.  
When we are down, sometimes our dreams are better than our reality & so we hide in sleep, sometimes we have nightmares instead, which makes the reality very much worse.  Yet always when we are awake, our heads are usually too full to cope.   Our issues might be included in our sleep as well as our waking state and leads to inactivity and procrastination, I have included some self-help links at the end to help kick these habits into touch.

The Black Dog - Metabolic & Abstract Dreaming - Trac Davies©

When someone suffers from depression, they will sometimes hide in sleep.  On a temporary basis, this can alleviate any suffering but only for a short-time.  If the person hides, refuses to wake up & sleeps more than he or she should, it can make things worse.  
Sleep has the benefit of getting us relaxed enough to connect with our inner self, this is what this woman has done, her dreams are colourful where she has made the connection.  The colours are vibrant and there is a smile on her child-like face.  She is innocent and in total trust as she connects with the ancient one; She who represents her own hidden wisdom.  If we can reach a state of self where we can talk to who we are inside, more often or not we can access our dreaming & find a possible way out of any one situation.  I am not saying this works with everyone or with every situation, but most of us, when we have had a really rough day, we feel better for a good nights sleep and this sometimes works with certain depressive states.

However, by hiding in sleep, this can exacerbate any situation & can lead to nightmares.  These can always be hovering on the edge of your mind when you are depressed anyway and you can invite these in when oversleeping.  This is depicted by the abstract form of the Black Dog and woman on the bottom of the painting.  The Black Dog isn't actually black, this is because it is a dream and nothing is ever as it should be in dreams of any sort.  The Black Dog is connected to the vibrant colours, I have found that if you turn everything upside-down, the key to freedom from our misery is held within the malady itself.   Our ancient self knows what we must do, and often so does our Black Dog, often the two are intertwinned and if we look carefully, we can work out where the problem might lie.
If we don't, what should be a refreshing sleep can turn into a heavy load, we all know how bad we can feel after we have over-slept and that this sort of sleep is far from refreshing. 

The answer to this is learning how to meditate, we can still access our inner-self if we can learn to still our mind.  Meditation took me years to learn and that was because I was doing it wrong.  I  have been lucky that I have been able to practise some meditation but it became a much easier process when a friend introduced me to mindful meditation. In mindful meditation, we still our minds by acknowledging other influences, inside of ourselves as well as on the outside but then we let these all go.  Often in many meditation practises, we are taught that we should totally ignore any outer or inner stimulus, refusal to acknowledge other influences can make meditation a daily battle instead of what should be a path to inner peace.  If done correctly, meditation gives the mind the rest and enables us to let go of those things that bother us, there are many different packages out there but I have included the link that helped me to learn how to do it properly.

The metabolic side to this painting is in reference to our diet.  When we are depressed, many people will eat junk food or just the wrong types of food.  What we put into ourselves will have an affect of how we are and how we feel.  The metabolic side also refers to the facts that certain foods and beverages cause sleep disturbances, so whatever we put into our mouths not only affects our mental health but the quality of our sleep.
The definition of metabolism is the chemical and physical processes within all living beings that produces, maintains and destroys materials thus producing energy within any one living organism.  

I am not going to break down the symbols and shapes that I have painted, they will mean different things to different people and symbols in our dreams can often be the key that opens the door to our own personal freedom.  Although dreams and sleep can help one recover, it is best if we can learn to get on with our lives by including practises such as meditation and a healthier life-style into our lives, it helps us to get over the hurdles our mind has set us.  At first, we are really resistant towards this, because we feel we should be able to do this all by ourselves with no outside help or, even worse, that there is nothing wrong with us.  This is when we become truly overwhelmed with everything.  The refusal to face ourselves head-on and ask ourselves what is wrong and more importantly, because sometimes we don't know the answer, what we can do it make it better, what we can do to help ourselves, is profoundly important to our well-being.  If we do not ask ourselves these questions or accept there is something wrong and something must be done about it, we can make ourselves so much worse & hinder any progress that we could make.

 
Suggested Links and Reading:

http://tracdaviesartist.blogspot.fr/2015/02/emotions-accepting-rough-with-smooth.html

http://marc.ucla.edu/mindful-meditations  
These were the first mindful meditation I tried.  They are all guided meditations and work well and as soon as I hear the voice guiding me through, I start to relax.  These meditations help you acknowledge body, thought processes, emotions and outside stimulus and help you let go of these things after that initial acknowledgement but in a positive way.  


http://99u.com/articles/19327/get-over-yourself-how-your-ego-sabotages-your-creativity
A very good blog helping one to recognise and deal with the traps that our ego sets us from time to time.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-16306/top-5-procrastination-behaviors-what-they-say-about-you.html
I am an awful procrastinator, I will find anything else to do before I do what I need to.  I have started getting out of this behaviour, reading this helped but also reading the next blog.

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/04/how-to-feel-great-every-morning/
These little tips do tend to help but the one that helped me over my procrastination issues was one called Eating the Toad!

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/the-important-connection-between-diet-mental-health/
Diet is always important, if you put rubbish into your system, there is a good chance that this is what you will feel.

https://sleepfoundation.org/bedroom/taste.php 
http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/ss/slideshow-sleep-foods

These two links gives a breakdown of certain foods and beverages that aid  sleep or lead to sleep disturbances

There is also something called the REACH method, I have been trying to find the original website for this that was given to me by a friend.  It got me off the starting block so to speak and it a way of life rather than anything else.  It is empowering but it means you have to go into the darkness of yourself and own your stuff before getting to the light.  The original website was on an old computer, that has since died but there is a lot about this method on other websites.  If I can find the website I was given, I will update this blog with the details.


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Trac Davies - Artist ©

Star Goddess and Star God - The Dance of the Masks.

Star Goddess and Star God - How Sacred Sex changes over time to become a true, Divine Force to be reckoned with.

When I started this painting, I was experimenting with small abstracts and seeing how it would work if I tried to walk a more commercial route.  It was a truly useful experiment and what it taught me was that both myself and other people are happier with my work if I paint what I want to create rather than what I think people would buy.  However, at one stage whilst working on these paintings, I was at the point where I was finding it increasingly difficult to walk a more commercial path, so I sighed and placed another small blank canvas on my easel for another of these experiments but as I had nothing in mind, I let rip instead.  

This is often how I paint, I just let the energy and spirit within me dictate the creative flow and I often don't think too deeply on what first comes out.  The deeper thought processes part comes later when I am finishing whatever I am creating and this paradoxically takes longer because of the details I add.   What I came out with really surprised me, I started with an a few sweeps of the brush and then worked on them, adding details here and there until I was faced with another Star Goddess painting, but one with a rather human twist.   

Star Goddess & Star God - The Dance of the Masks. Trac Davies©

This painting, which came from two sets of swirls, depicts the Maiden side of the Goddess, the Lover side of the God,  lust, how we fall in love and what can happen afterwards if we don't pay attention to out inner self. It is about the human side of the divine archetypes that live within us.  I have always believed that we have a Goddess or God within and are all capable of great things because of this strength, which isn't always easily accessed but is there nonetheless.  The male is on bended knee so in proposal position and has just pulled a human heart from a magician's hat, which he is offering to the female.  Both are naked and resting on clouds, neither have heads and the female does not have arms, there is a ying and yang symbol that comes from them both and links them together in red and green.  

These figures depict our youthful masks and the dynamics which make those masks dance for and with each other.  When we are younger, in our intimate relationships, we can often spend so much time trying to figure out what the other wants that we forget the inner part of us and forget about developing our truth.  In some cases, this truth is put aside and in any type of relationship, This is where the partnership so often can go badly wrong.  


I will start with the male.  For this man, love is euphoric and when he falls for someone who he feels is perfect for him, he will give his all, this is depicted by the offering of his heart.  However, he is headless underlining the fact that he isn't thinking with his head at this present time.  The red part of the double ying and yang comes from the most intimate part of his body, representing both lust and the underlying and eternal inner drive to procreate and have children.  Love is so often about finding a person you think you will be able to settle down with and have children.  This is not true in all cases, just some.   
The heart comes from a magician's hat, which is black and white.  To many men, once you have found a woman you want to share your life with it all becomes very black and white, there are no shades of grey.  It usually is a case of; I want her, I love her, I want to settle down with her - it is often that simple.  He grips the hat close to him with his hand, not in the usual way by brim or base  but around the body of the hat for this is something that he cherishes.  Many men do not give their hearts or their all easily and will often try to negate how deeply they feel by holding onto themselves.  He may be offering his heart to her but he keeps hold of the container, and of course the container or the hat portrays himself.   
The male also has a little suggestion of a tail, he isn't sure if it will wag or not, will my offering be rejected?  A man in love is just like a dog with two tails!  
The man himself is red for passion, which corresponds to the woman's background.  The cloud he rests on is cloud 9, the ace of cups from the tarot rises from this cloud.  The ace of cups is made by both cloud and blue sky, it is associated with great love, joy, abundance, fertility and contentment.   The blue cloudy space between them represents reality, a zone that is neither one of them.  They both actually exist in this place but at present, they are honed in on each other so are basking in their lover's glow and this reflects back on to the other.  The ace of cups has risen from cloud 9 in this space of reality because their love is real.

The woman figure looks more simple but this is deceptive.  She is green for nurture with the red corresponding background to the man.  She rises from her own cloud and in fact is "in the clouds" rather than resting on it, this portrays that she is out of touch from her own truth at present.  She faces the man as if accepting the offer of his heart but she has no arms to reach towards the male and hands to take his offering.  
The green ying and yang comes from under her breast and on her upper thigh, which encompasses her reproductive organs and womb.  The colour inside this asymmetrical ying and yang is white, depicting the meeting of sperm and egg to make the great light in this world that is called life, what will derive from this is both known and unknown and it is part of life's great mystery.  
The drive to reproduce within this woman matches that of the man, but a woman always has to weigh the biological costs and benefits of bearing and rearing a child into the balance.  Therefore, there is a new ying and yang starting to grow lower down on the woman's thigh. This is because she is the principle caregiver.  Any future possible children are conceived within her, carried by her, grow within her, are nurtured by her and fed by her.   These two people need each other to make a child but the balance is stacked in her favour rather than his as far as proving any children are hers in biological terms.  
However, saying this, he can make many children with many different women and not have the worry about the emotional and physical cost that having a child gives whereas she is limited to only a few partners and cannot have as many children as he can.  The balance is there but could turn fragile so she has started to grow a new ying and yang, symbolising both inner balance and new growth for the recycling and renewal of herself and any future children and for plan B if plan A goes wrong.  The new symbol appears to join with the original ying and yang so takes everything into account. 

*NOTE: I am viewing this from a biological standpoint only.  The cost of carrying and rearing a child is enormous in any female of any one of the mammalian species where-as males are free to sow as much seed with very little BIOLOGICAL cost.  However, each species is different and the monogamous relationships that humans and some of the other species have should exist for the benefit of the vulnerable children of that partnership. Alas this is not always true, some people make any situation worse when they are together and this reduces any benefit towards the child rather than increasing it and in that case the principal caregiver and child are better off alone.*  

The woman's background is red, but if you look closely, you will see that there are many faces within that background where-as there is nothing in the green background of the male.  These are the faces of the woman concerned, of who she was, who she is and who she will be.  Some of these are well formed and easily identifiable as heads or faces but some are still forming and all of these heads are looking at the male.

As far as she is concerned the truth of the matter is that her figure was that of an outfit and part of her feels that all he wanted her for is what is on the outside.   She has realized than on reflection, this was her mask at that time.  When a man first meets a woman, he is so enamoured by what he sees, he does not always look that deeply at what exists within her.  Her mask is that of a perfect figure but there are no arms and no head.  Often, when a woman falls in love, she feels powerless in her youth to show a man what she really is inside of herself.  Part of this is because she is so in love she does not think it necessary because she believes that he will always love and accept her for who she really is.  Yet often as she herself is in her youth, she is just finding out what these things are herself.  In many cases a woman will put aside the things that matter to her and what makes her heart beat, especially when it comes to meeting the man she feels is the love of her life and having children with him.  Therefore, crucial aspects of her life are left by the wayside as she explores this new emotional landscape.   

Yet as time goes by, her creative power, begins to flare again and this will eventually come out of the shadows with astonishing consequences all around.  Youth does not always give rise to reflection about who you are, not in the sense that is truly important.  Later on in life, we feel that our youthful figure, was like a dress. This was something we will have to take off to show our loved one who we are internally.  You see, we outgrow our outer dress, after children our figure changes and we also can lose a lot of the innocence and sometimes the youthful joy that we used to have because our lives change.   

I am talking about the dynamics that go into a relationship between two people over time.  Over the years I have spoken to various women that have told me that their husbands still want what once was, they want the woman they married, not the one that they have become and I do not mean just physically.  When I met my husband, I was a lot more carefree but now, there are other issues in life to contend with and there are more serious moments and less wild laugter, which I also find very sad.  In addition, in the past I could dress in a corset, shiny lycra leggings and thigh length boots to my hearts content, if I tried this now, I would look like a beached killer whale in high heels, after two children by two cesarean sections, this just ain't happening!  To a greater or lesser degree, we also lose the giggly side, many males are charmed by this and they are often bewildered why we are not the women they once married.  Why do we no longer laugh at their jokes, why are we not the "snuggle bunnies" we once were?  After all, it is simple, they give their hearts and so their lives for their wives and their family but what they fail to consider is that so have we and it is this giving of ourselves and of our sex that has wrought immense physical and emotional change.  

In traditional relationships, where the man is the main breadwinner, he would feel he has given his life to his wife and family.  This, in his eyes is all that matters.  But by giving his all, he loses the inner man and forgets what drew the woman to him in the first place.  There are no heads in his background because, once he stops thinking with his head he totally loses it.  Once this happens, he loses a side to him that made the woman smile, something that apart from her that gave him great joy and often he forgets to incorporate this back into his being once he has settled down.  
Because he was happy, so was she but now she views him, exhausted after work, sprawled in an armchair, just watching the television with no other interest and it saddens her.  Both want to rekindle what was lost but they are now different people. However, it isn't just other people that can define what we become but things that define us as well.  
Because the man has given his all, he has failed to consider that by giving up something that made him happy, he is less than he used to be, in her eyes.  This thing needs to be either bought back into the status-quo or something else needs to replace it, men often need a shed and inside that their toys to play with, if they don't have this they forget to laugh and this is why there is a well formed face at the bottom of the painting on her side, that is as miserable as can be.  She never wanted him to give up the things that made her partner, himself.  This is what she misses, his true self.  

However, on his side of things the face she now chooses to wear for the time being isn't what he first fell in love with.  It might well be her true face but it isn't what he first saw in her.  When this happens it can rock the marital boat enormously and it takes real strength, courage, determination and great love between them both to sort things out.  If it can be sorted, it generally it means the relationship will be a stronger and happier one because she is now being who she really is and if he has the thing that makes him happy, so can he but they both have to accept the other for who they really are.  Then all will be well and good, things can flourish for them and they can grow together again.

Relationships are never easy, as a couple, we give so much to the other and lose what we were and often there might be a time in a couple's progress down life's bumpy road together, where we waste time trying to be what we once were.  This is not the same as becoming or accepting who we are now.  We do not have to lose certain and essential things but there are some things, youth and beauty predominant in many cases, that are lost and have to be so that we can become what we really are at another stage in life. 


Further Reading:

Women's Psychology:

Women Who Run With The Wolves: Contacting the Power of the Wild Woman.  (1992).  Clarissa Pinkola Estés Ph.D. Publisher: Rider & Co.

Burning Woman. (2016).  Lucy H. Pearce. Womancraft Publishing 

These above books are ones that I constantly re-read.  I have had many eureka moments whilst reading them.  Sometimes with the same sentence which caused one eureka moment whilst cause another when I have read it on a different day.   

 Men's Psychology:

Iron John: A Book About Men. (2001) Robert Bly. Publishers: Rider & Co; Ebury Publishing.

I will admit to knowing very little about men's psychology.  This book is a must for all modern day men, psychology has moved on from what we were taught in our youth.

Relationship Psychology:

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships: How to Get What You Want in Your Relationships. (1992). John Gray. Publishers: Harper and Collins

Evolutionary Biology and Sociobiology

Mother Nature: Natural Selection and the Female of the Species. (1999). Sarah Blaffer-Hrdy. Publisher: Chatto and Windus.

This is a singular book, which I have read a couple of times and keep meaning to pick up again.  In this book, Hrdy has argued the evolution is driven and controlled by the female of the species.  In addition, she has debunked the belief that all  mothers are the nurturing care-givers. Across history there have been mothers that have been less than caring in their approach and this book covers them all as far as I can ascertain.  I have added this book to the reading list because it covers the trade-offs that both potential and actual mothers make.

There are many other papers that have been written about the cost of child-bearing and child rearing and I know that biology will have moved on somewhat since 1999, so there will papers more relevant to the world as it is today.  I have included these links for the interest, unfortunately, I have forgotten more than I have included so any holes in the knowledge are entirely my own.

https://books.google.co.uk/books?hl=en&lr=&id=3zArAAAAYAAJ&oi=fnd&pg=PA370&dq=cost+and+benefit+analysis+of+childbearing+and+child+rearing+academic&ots=dH_5oEiJbP&sig=ZJKz_3ap4s6lJ6tHEHSxoiySCtU#v=onepage&q&f=false

https://dash.harvard.edu/bitstream/handle/1/3153297/Haig_GeneticConflictHUmanPregnancy.pdf
http://bixby.berkeley.edu/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Sex-and-the-Birth-rate-03.99.pdf

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Tracy Davies